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The Betty Crocker Project : Chicken Chow Mein

So I was working on this joke that went something like this: You don’t like Fake Chicken Chow Mein? What are you a Commie?
But I just couldn’t really get it to come together and it seemed somewhat insensitive to people who are being exploited in China as well as people with a irrational phobia leftover from The Cold War. I’ll get back to you if something inspired happens.
This recipe makes a lot of food and there’s none of the MSG you get from those FABULOUS Chinese take-out spots that fry their tofu “chicken” into little nuggets. You know the ones that also have disgusting bags of chicken wings and Mexican sodas. I love those places. They are usually really sweet about leaving out the fish and oyster sauces, you can watch them make your food and are eager to make vegan spring rolls and serve mock meat as long as you promise to tell your friends. Alas – without the MSG there is a bit of blandness that is easy to fix with some Braggs Amino Acids.
  • 10 Pieces of Fake Chicken (We are still using these from May Wah but really any vegan chicken – Seitan, Morningstar Chick’n Strips or Gardein will do)
  • 1 Tablespoon Olive Oil for cooking
  • 1 Cup of Carrots (cut into coins)
  • 1 Cup of Celery (chopped into large pieces)
  • 1/2 of 1 Red Onion (chopped)
  • 2 Cloves of Garlic
  • 1 Can (8oz) of Sliced Water Chestnuts (drained)
  • 1/2 Cup of Cashews
  • 1/2 Cup of Baby Corn
  • 1 Can of Bamboo Shoots
  • 1 Cup of Better Than Bouillon (Vegetable Broth – prepared using the directions on the package)
  • 4 Tablespoons of Braggs ( you may want to add 2 at fist and then add more till you like the flavor)
  • 1/2 Teaspoon Minced Ginger (you may want to add 1/4 a teaspoon first and then add another if you want more flavor)
  • 2 Tablespoon Corn Starch
  • 1 Cup of White Mushrooms (halved)
  • 1 Cup of Pea Pods
  • Chow Mein Noodles 
  • Rice (optional)
In a wok heat, Olive Oil at a medium heat. Add the Fake Chicken and cook until both sides are brown and crispy. Remove Fake Chicken and set aside on a plate with a paper towel to soak up extra oil.
Throw Carrots, Celery, Onion, Garlic, Water Chestnuts, Mushrooms, Cashews, Baby Corn and Bamboo Shoots, Pea Pods to the oil and cook. Keep turning the vegetables so they cook evenly.
In a bowl mix Vegetable Broth, Soy Sauce, Corn Starch and Ginger. Whisk the mix until smooth. Add Fake Chicken to the bowl and mix till the Fake Chicken is covered. Then add to the cooking vegetables. Be sure and pour all the Soy Sauce mix into the vegetables. Keep turning to make sure everything gets covered.
This is when you will want to test the flavor to see if you want more Ginger or Braggs. . . if the sauce has gotten too think during the cooking – because you wok has gotten too hot or whatever – you can add 1 or 2 Teaspoons of water. . . I didn’t do this – but I am assuming that if you add more water you will want more Ginger and Braggs.

Serve over Rice and Chow Mein Noodles.

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