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Swiss Chard Rolls


I should have posted these last week but I just didn’t because to be honest I didn’t like the photos so I had a reshoot on Sunday afternoon. I mean that’s the real kicker when it comes to food blogging right? No one will probably even read this post – just go for the recipe but if the photo ain’t great nobody will even do that. So much depends on the photo. We’re a very “looks” focused little group. But it’s like they say “You eat with your eyes first.”

So since no one will be reading this, I am taking this opportunity to talk about True Blood and how crazy dumb it’s gotten*. Now I’ve read most of the books so I know that they are also wildly dumb and honestly super dirty. They are probably the dirtiest books I can remember reading. And I don’t mean in a Walt Whitman/Lady Chatterley’s Lover way. There is no ‘singing the body electric’ – they’re more like those true sex stories you’d skip past in Cosmos. But I’m off topic here. See I made Dan start watching True Blood because ya know… Vampires. But now we’re in. 6 seasons of Sookie’s daisy duke shorts and saccharine sweet Southern accents and there’s no turning back. I do also stand by my 2011 statement that Dan getting me HBO for our anniversary is pretty much the best present ever... and that the intro to True Blood is the best intro to any show ever except maybe The Sopranos.

But somehow we make it work… I admit when I realized I had messed up the DVR and we had to wait for the episode to be over to watch it again in online – I was pissed and although he wouldn’t admit it so was Dan**. So maybe somewhere deep down we’ve made peace with the idiocracy that those poor souls in Bon Temps find themselves trapped in every week.

We passed the time eating the leftovers from this recipe that I had squirreled away to be my lunch today and it eased the pain a bit. This is one of the recipes I’m working on for our next book and honestly I’m already in love with them. They’re not our usual post (these are pretty much the definition of cliche vegan food) so I’m still a little curious how you’re all going to receive them but I can say with confidence that we both loved them and gobbled them up like they were cookies.


Swiss Chard Rolls

12 large Swiss chard leaves
1 cup cooked bulgur
1 ½ cups lentils, cooked or canned
4 cherry tomatoes, diced
¼ cup parsley, diced
2 tablespoons soy sauce or Bragg’s Liquid Amino Acids
1 teaspoon black pepper
2 tablespoons fresh mint, diced
1 small red onion, diced
Zest from 1 lemon
Some Annie’s Goddess Dressing for dipping


In a large bowl, gently mix all your roll ingredients except Swiss chard leaves being careful to not crush your tomatoes. Cover and put in the fridge to chill for 10 minutes.

While your filling chills, boil a pot of water. One at a time, dip your Swiss chard leaves into your boiling water while carefully holding onto the stem. Count to 15 and remove. Being careful to not burn your fingers, lay your leaves flat on clean dish towel to soak up extra water. Be careful not to tear your leaves as you flatten them out on the towel.

Once you’re done with all your leaves, it’s time to roll. One at a time, place your leaves flat on a cutting board with the flat – not spiny side down. Place 2-3 tablespoons of your filling in the center of the largest end of your leaf. Fold the side over your filling and then roll your largest end forward – rolling up your filling and tucking in any odd corners or edges to make a small fat cigar about the size of your hand.

Serve with some Annie’s Goddess Dressing and some melodramatic vampires.

* Seriously, it’s like mad dumb. To quote Dan “What’s with the blood fountain? How does that build off Bill’s character at all?” – in reference to the squeezing a lady like a juice box in last night’s episode.

** We kept taking the remote away from each other saying politely “Let me try.” – but you could tell ya know – that this was a minor tragedy that was hitting us like a tsunami. Not our finest marriage moment.

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