When I was a little eater who had no idea what a calorie was and where cheese came from, I loved cream sauces. In 4th grade I even wrote a poem that I was very proud of about my favorite food: Fettuccine Alfredo. I wish I still had a copy of this literary masterpiece, or at least remember the good parts. I have a feeling it would be comedy gold now. What I do remember is my teacher making a joke to my mom that I should enjoy it while I could, because lord knows Italian women shouldn’t be eating cream sauce after they turn 18 unless they’ve completely given up on themselves.

To be fair to this teacher who was suppose to be a female role model in my life, it was the 80s, when women all over the US were unfortunately starving themselves to be able to wear white spandex. But let’s be honest – those kind of jokes are still around today. Which in my opinion is ridiculous. I mean, I’m vegan now, and I enjoy vegan alfredo sauce all the time completely guilt-free. Is it the healthiest sauce you can pour over some pasta and clean up with some garlic toast? Not really. But as far as ‘guilty pleasures’ go, it’s pretty harmless – especially for those cows.

I didn’t add any vegetables to this batch for the photo, but I recommend adding some zucchini, asparagus, broccoli, or carrots to make it more of a Pasta Primavera because vegetables are our delicious friends. Also, this recipe is unbelievably fast and easy. I mean if you can make a smoothie, you can make this sauce.

So I’ll break it down like this: this recipe is awesome! Let’s make some!

Fettuccine with Cannellini & Artichoke Heart Alfredo Sauce

• 1 Package Fettuccine (cooked and drained – Fettuccine is one of those pastas that often has eggs in it – so please read your labels to make sure your brand is vegan)

• 1 Can Cannellini (also called Great Northern) Beans (drained and rinsed)

• 1 Can Artichoke Hearts (drained)

• 1 Cup Soymilk

• 1/4 Cup Vegan Sour Cream

• 1/2 Cup Nutritional Yeast

• 2 Tablespoons Braggs

• 2 Tablespoons Kalamata Olive Brine (this is the juice that Kalamata Olives come in)

• 1 teaspoon Olive Oil

• 1 Tablespoon Margarine

• 1 Tablespoon Lemon Juice

• 3 Cloves Garlic (minced)

• 1 Tablespoons Vegan Cream Cheese

• 1 teaspoon Garlic Powder

• 1 Tablespoon White Wine

• Fresh Parsley for garnish

• Freshly Ground Black Pepper and Salt to taste

Prepare Paste per instructions on the package.

In your cherished food processor or over-worked blender, toss in all the ingredients except Pasta, Salt, Pepper and Parsley and blend for over a minute. You want to liquify your ingredients – especially the Artichoke Hearts – so stop blending when they are completely mixed into the sauce.

Then pour your sauce into a saucepan and heat on a medium heat until it begins to boil. Remove from heat and add our preferred amount of Salt. We only added one dash but you might prefer more.

When you serve your dish toss a pinch of chopped Fresh Parsley and some Freshly Ground Black Pepper on top and put on some white spandex. I mean – why not? You’re pretty.