Today’s post is kinda long. You can always just skip to the recipe at the end if you’re just here for the food.
The weeks leading up to her arrival were not easy ones and there have been a few posts about our baby shower, new products we’ve discovered and getting the nursery ready that just haven’t made it to the final stage of being published. But today’s post isn’t about any of that or various Sadie saturated content and not just because our friend Keith teased us that we would become a “mommy only blog” once Sadie came… today’s post combines the awesomeness of real bourbon soaked vanilla beans, one of the world’s most perfect food: Doughnuts and some thoughts I had while feeding our newborn daughter for one of America’s favorite action stars: Sylvester Stallone.
Dear Mr. Stallone,
As an Italian American who has enjoyed seeing you portray my people in such cinematic masterpieces as the Rocky franchise and Lords of Flatbush* and a child of the 80s who grew up not being allowed to watch you on the silver screen fighting for freedom or something in numerous Rambos but eventually getting to see you battling crime as multiple muscle-y police officers, hang from impossible cliffs** and even honky tonky romancing one of my favorite people in all the world Dolly Parton, I want to congratulate on your recent success with The Expendables franchise. I would also like to ask that in your next film, while you are sitting in some meeting tossing around names of action stars to include in the inevitable Expendables 4… I ask you to remember the ladies.
See I couldn’t help but notice that while you have done an exceptional job of combining all the biggest action stars of all time into one movie franchise that I can appreciate as the magnum opus it is… you haven’t in the three movies thus far featured any of the great women of action movies.
I know some of the people who are reading this right now might be scratching their heads and wondering what the heck I’m talking about. So I will offer some suggestions. I think Sandra Bullock earned her action movie cred by fighting domestic terrorism on both a runaway bus and cruise ship and of course as your partner in Demolition Man. Uma Thurman literally kicked (and stabbed) lots of butt in The Kill Bill Trilogy. Michelle Rodriguez has driven cars fast and furiously, she’s battled Resident Evil zombies and even flew planes in Avatar. Speaking of Avatar, Sigourney Weaver has surely earned her action cred killing Aliens in like a million movies. Of course there is always the famous Tomb Raider Angelina Jolie.
Now Sly, I know you’re probably thinking those are some big tickets names. But what about a few ladies we haven’t seen in anything lately. Bridget Fonda was as stone cold killer in La Femme Nikita. What about Sharon Stone? She beat the heck out of Arnold in Total Recall. Would you consider Lucy Liu? I mean say what you will about the Charlie Angels movies – she’s was no damsel in distress in those movies, Kill Bill and don’t even get me started on Man with the Iron Fists.
See I’m not just writing to you for my own movie enjoyment or for the sake of feminism itself. We have a brand new daughter who may someday be drawn to soldier of fortune movies and wouldn’t it be great for her to see a legacy of bad ass women included? Wouldn’t it be great for little boys to see that women are not just to be saved or fought over but can also play an invaluable and equal role in the battle against whatever bad guy is doing bad things? And wouldn’t it be pretty awesome to celebrate not only the men who made this genre of movies famous but the women who have shot guns and karate chopped alongside them for decades?
I hope you will consider this and that I don’t have get my buddy Pulin over at Change.org involved… that guy can petition something crazy.
Hope you’re having a lovely summer!
Chocolate Covered Vegan Coconut & Vanilla Bean Baby Doughnuts
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
1/2 cup coconut oil
1 cup sugar
2 vanilla beans, we used bourbon soaked vanilla beans from Trader Joe’s
2 tablespoons applesauce
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 cup coconut milk, from a carton not can
1 bag dark chocolate chips
Heat oven to 425.
Spray down your mini doughnut pans. If you’re using full sized doughnut pans – please take into account that they will need to bake longer and make fewer doughnuts. I know it’s weird I have to say that but I’ve gotten enough emails to know I do.
In a large mixing bowl, use a whisk to combine flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt.
In another mixing bowl, use a hand held mixer to combine your coconut oil and sugar. Use a small spoon or fork to scrap out the inside (beans) of your vanilla bean pods. Mix your vanilla beans into your coconut oil blend. Then mix in your applesauce, vanilla extract and coconut milk.
Pour your coconut blend into your flour blend and mix with your hand held mixer until it makes a creamy batter.
to get the prettiest donuts in all the land, fill a frosting gun with your batter and fill your doughnut pan. Try to only fill each ring about half way so that when they bake they don’t overflow and you lose your doughnut hole.
Bake 5-8 minutes or until they’re a light golden brown. The lighter the more the more moist your doughnut will be.
While your doughnuts cool on a rack, melt your chocolate chips following the directions on the package.
Carefully dip the ugliest side of each doughnut in your melted chocolate and let cool on your rack chocolate side up for another 8-10 minutes or until your chocolate has set.
Then enjoy with friends!
* A movie that not only took place in Brooklyn but had both you and the Fonz in it! AMAZING!
** How awesome is that movie poster? Answer: REALLY super awesome.